Can I just say

I'm sick of pretending and pretending and pretending, but it must be in my nature to throw a little laughter into everything I say. I'm fucking fed up with myself. This is why nobody knows me. This is why people distance themselves from me. I'm kicking and screaming internally and I know I need to let the devil out...but who am I to talk to? Everybody? My sister? My best friends? I'd rather talk to a stranger, but no strangers are around. No, who am I left to talk to? Nobody. But. Myself. What the hell is wrong with me....